encased in a thin membrane of skin.
Drawn to our like, most of us live
at the edge of wind-rippled surfaces
bodies of water lapping land
cooling air, slaking dreams as we
pour ourselves into their being
pour their being into ourselves.
No wonder this land of ravaged rivers
now mostly dry beds of concrete
repels
does not quench the longing
for the porous land
filled to brimming with life.
I never thirsted as I do now
watching the narrow trickle
upon the heated concrete
evaporate before it can reach
the ocean, before it can return.
©2011 Joanne Elliott
Wow, Joanne! This is brilliant...love the presentation, the simple language delivered with such power. It is beautiful writing, but leaves sadness in its wake...Bravo Poet!
ReplyDeletewhew, nice...made mostly of water...we pass toone another...love the settle at the end on the lone trickle unable to reach the masses (of water) but it can spin many ways...
ReplyDeleteThanks Natasha. I miss the porous land (read NS).
ReplyDeleteThank you Brian. I love how poetry can spin many ways...even more ways than the poet herself can conjure consciously. :-)
ReplyDeleteExquisite Joanne, your words washed over me and filled me up!
ReplyDeletebodies of water lapping land
ReplyDeletecooling air, slaking dreams as we
pour ourselves into their being
pour their being into ourselves.
These were my favorite lines. I love the ebb and flow of your language throughout imbuing the poem with the gentle laps and roaring waves of the message.
Very interesting, absorbing reflection.
ReplyDeleteThank you Laura, Anna and Rosemary. I appreciate your comments.
ReplyDelete"pour ourselves into their being
ReplyDeletepour their being into ourselves."~ you had me with these lines... a cross amalgamation of self against the world for a better communion... very interesting write. i enjoyed it. thank you.(:
~Kelvin S. M.
Thank you Kelvin.
ReplyDeleteMine today is titled "Rain"...we were both thinking 'water' it seems. But your writing is so far advanced, interesting, like picture painting.
ReplyDeleteAnyway, I know what I like...and I like!
thank you.
Not a critic--just barely hanging in here!
I need to rehydrate after reading this poem! :-)
ReplyDeleteDavid
Really wonderful imagery throughout
ReplyDelete"pour ourselves into their being
pour their being into ourselves."
A particular fine couplet in my opinion. Lovely write ~ Rose
Tom Eliot:
ReplyDeleteI adore the union of - 'narrow trickle'
Some very tight writing.
Succint and solid - not at all wet!
This is beautiful - lovely, lovely imagery.
ReplyDeleteSteve: I enjoyed your poem, too. Thank you for you lovely comments.
ReplyDeleteAnointedruins: :-)
Rose: Thank you.
Tom: :-) Thank you Tom.
Jo: Thank you.
This is a wonderful metaphor, well written and adroitly delivered.
ReplyDeleteCarys
Thank you Carys.
ReplyDelete