Colm Meaney asks why we are not on the beach.
Our companion says there are too many crows.
Colm says it doesn’t matter; they are coming down
like the rest of us.
I wake to a myriad of caws as crows sweep the morning sky.
My companion does not hear them for he speaks online
about the world and how it will end in a blanket of smoke
with bodies burnt but unpicked by fallen crows.
© 2012 Joanne Elliott
Some really powerful words here, especially love the last lines.
ReplyDeleteeesh, powerful lines indeed - those last few pack a punch! love the title of this too! nice!
ReplyDeleteGreat poem. The repetition works, the cadence fits the poem well.
ReplyDeleteThis poem really has a dream feel, incongruity and meanings that have to be unpacked. I love the coming down line, and the apocalyptic conclusion is perfect.
ReplyDeleteThe dream creeps me...along with end of the world scenario. I take this though as a metaphor of something dark and menacing coming soon.
ReplyDeleteChalk full of great lines from beginning to end, nicely done!
ReplyDeletewow...sparse...great write though...kinda chilling...i dont usually feel that way at the beach...smiles...
ReplyDeleteThank you for your comments. I don't usually write 'em so dark, but the first stanza is a dream that I had awhile back and I always wanted to use it in a poem...so I finally did.
ReplyDelete@Grace I'm not sure I take my dream as something dark coming soon. I just feel changes are now on a roll and coming fast. We can see this as dark or not. Though it brought the dark to mind when I wrote the rest of the poem...but that's just me being dramatic. It's a dramatic kind of time we live in.
It's that last line. Had that a few times tonight. Last lines are blowing me out of the water.
ReplyDeletePerfectly executed and brings the poem together magnificently.
Great poem.
Dark and intense. Nice write.
ReplyDeleteScary... intense... thought-provoking!
ReplyDeletehttp://lkkolp.wordpress.com/2012/01/10/bare-love/
goodness joanne...what a surreal and tight write...left me kinda speechless..
ReplyDeleteExcellently dark write.
ReplyDeletehttp://charleslmashburn.wordpress.com/2012/01/10/the-sun-came-up-again-4/
Joanne...dark or not, I really enjoy this side of your voice. Have you read any Johanna Skibsrud? (I THINK that's how you spell her last name!) Reminds me of her tone...simple, yet laced with so much more. Dare to dream of change...it's the growing pains that hurt, but I really think we are on our way to an awakening, and perhaps your dream points to that. It is always darkest before the dawn!
ReplyDeleteYes, intense but with a kind of impassioned feel behind it. Maybe that makes it even darker...
ReplyDeleteGeez, I better laugh and dance while I can before the crows come get me. But, by then I'll be on la-la land anyway.
ReplyDeleteAWESOME poem.
And I am off to make YOU a sidebar button and post it today on my blog. So, pop on over later to Funsterland and see what I came up with to link you.
xoox