Sunday, June 13, 2010

Writing at Penn Park

The wind blows towards us
rustling brown leaves on green grass.

Voices of Spanish bridesmaids
coo like mourning doves

mingle on winter breezes
with the caw of crows.

Balls bounce in the distance
while tiny flies rest by my words.

Thread like legs trace circles on yellow.
Wings turned prism in sunshine

expand between blue inked musings
sparkle like frost glazed windows.

Sun pierced wings suddenly flutter
fly off like thoughts

that barely touch the page.

©2007 Joanne Elliott

26 comments:

  1. Lovely. You make the mundane world seem somehow romantic and worthy of poetry.

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  2. Thank you. Can't wait to read more of your lovely poetry.

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  3. A very romantic feel, nicely done

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  4. what a gentle pen you use to capture the scene..all the natural elements i like then bringing it back to writing...

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  5. excellent capture of that moment; great lines here:

    Sun pierced wings suddenly flutter
    fly off like thoughts

    that barely touch the page.

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  6. i love to write in nature..and i like the thoughts, barely touching the page...but they touched...and i'm glad...they're beautiful joanne

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  7. by the way...i wrote my today's bukowski poem while on a walk...

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  8. thoughts that barely touch the page -- LOVE that idea.

    Such beautiful writing.

    I picture the Spanish bridesmaids as wisps of lovely lace and red roses.

    So great to meet you via dVerse!

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  9. beautiful. The couplets suit the content so well. Fine write

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  10. Whimsical in flow, a truly delicate composition. Lovely write ~ Rose

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  11. Joanne! There is peace and contentment to be found here even if the words never make it to the page. You've painted us a wonderful moment, as she flies away with our thoughts. Refreshing and MUCH appreciated :)

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  12. ..i love the notion of Spanish bridesmaids coo like mourning doves..

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  13. The elusive muse as she flits away. Lovely thoughts.

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  14. Wow... what a lovely flight your pen took us on.
    Beautiful read, thank you.

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  15. @Pat: Thank you and thank you for your tripy rhyming poem. :-)

    @Brian: Thank you.

    @Claudia: Thank you. There is something about nature that brings the muse alive...or is the muse.

    @Jannie Thank you. Nice to meet you, too.

    @Luke Thank you for the insight on form.

    @Rose Thank you for your lovely words.

    @Natasha Thank you and you're welcome. :-)

    @Windowlad Thank you...that's exactly what they reminded me of.

    @rock Thank you.

    @Wolfsrosebud It was fun to write.

    @Daydreamertoo Thank you.

    @Ayala Thank you.

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  16. My favorite lines where those Heaven highlighted. The couplets gave me a moment to pause between each painted scene, peaceful and so real.

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  17. For me it's the close observational detail which impresses in this wonderfully evocative poem. A triumph of linguistic economy!

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  18. Yes, the detail work is exquisite, but its also what you saw there, what you chose to look at, that gives this piece its heart. Beautiful.

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  19. as others have commented before me, the joy of the small things, noticing, hearing, letting them barely touch you, but just enough to share them...

    ..."flutter
    fly off like thoughts..."

    fff-fantastic!
    ~deb

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  20. I love how you alternate the lines -- wind, voice, breezes -- coo, caw, flies, wings. Wonderful poem.

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  21. A tender piece romanticizing the everyday. Powerful ending.

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